YOU MAY BE A REDNECK PILOT IF......
  
  ------------------------------------
  Your stall warning plays "Dixie".

  Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.

  You've ever used moonshine as Avgas.

  You have mudflaps on your wheel pants.

  Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.

  You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.

  You refer to formation flying as "we got us a convoy".

  You've got a gun rack over the ACES II Ejection Seat.

  You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.

  Your preflight includes removing all of the 
  clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.

  You figure the weight of mud and manure on your airplane
  into the CG calculations.

  There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.

  There is exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft 
  and tobacco stains of the left.

  You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.

  You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.

  You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.

  Your hanger collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.

  You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------